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January 2012

Happy New Year! And happy non-existent summer!

Yes, the weather here has been a little inclement, and it's been a difficult season for the tomato-growers among us. But the Department of Disinformation is not the sort of organisation which encourages moaning. No. We have a dedicated Committee of Good Cheer and a hard working Positivity Board. And after some happy debate and joyous discussion we have decided to bring to you:

Word o' the month:

Crystal

The sharp-eyed follower of fashion will have already spied (and buyed!) our sparkly new pattern Amethyst Crystal, and noticed that the crystal theme is also carried through to the soon-to-be-released Thrive Winter Collection – Crystal Singer.

Crystal Singer was named in honour of the great unheralded talents of Sophie, Minister of the Arts, who as well as being an accomplished synchronised swimmer, is also quite brilliant at the the art of playing crystal singing bowls. These bowls, usually made of the finest quartz crystal, emit a striking tone when struck and rubbed around the rim. Different sized bowls will sing a different note. Sophie rubs her bowls with great enthusiasm, producing music which is out-of-this-world. She has been known to accompany herself with some Tibetan throat-singing, and occasionally also plays the pan-flute. Unfortunately her intense music is not to everybody's taste, and in order to foster a calm and amicable work environment she has been banned from playing any of these instruments at Thunderpants HQ.

We have received quite a lot of positive feedback for the new Thunderpants Amethyst Crystal pattern, including this interesting letter from a customer in California. 

Dearest Friends at Thunderpants and Children of the Universe,

       I am so happy to be writing to you. I purchased some of your underpants recently and I am thrilled to be able to report that they are very comfortable and also accepted with joy by my spirit leader. My guardian angel was a little skeptical at first – she does prefer diaphanous fabrics, but when she saw how at ease I was she blessed the new underwear and said that they had caused a positive shift in my consciousness.

       I have one very important issue which I need to share with you. I hope you have open hearts and radiant minds. I am a spirit technician working in the field of zenna healing. I use crystals in all aspects of my work, including spiritual surgery, and I have been doing this important life-giving work for over 25 years. I tell you this so that you can see that I truly understand the power of crystals. They are nature's healing gift to man-and-womankind.

Crystal healing involves the placement of certain crystals on the appropriate chakra points. There are 7 chakra points on the human body. The chakra involved in the underwear part of the body are the The Root Chakra, and The Sacral Chakra. These chakra are associated with colors, and crystal resonances. The Root chakra is red, and therefore linkedwith rubies or garnets. The Sacral chakra is orange, and linked to carnelians. It was with some shock that I realized your Amethyst Crystal Thunderpants are purple. This color does not harmonize with the underpant area, and in fact could lead to an imbalance of electromagnetic and psychic energies. The amethyst, and the color purple, resonates with the Crown Chakra. This is on the head. 

       And so, I think it is imperative that you change the color of your crystal-patterned Thunderpants to either red or orange. And to avoid illness in the customers who have already purchased purple pants, you could suggest they wear them on their head. I have already done so with mine, they make an interesting and unusual hat, and the wearing of them I'm sure has developed my conscious evolution and strengthened my connection with the abundant flow of the universe which supports all life. My aura thanks you.

May the Flower of Life bloom for you also,

Peace and Love,

Marge Rainbowheart

listen to some soul stirring crystal singing here

December 2010

Everything is going swimmingly. The Department of Disinformation is back! We apologise for our lack of disinformation, but in the kerfuffle surrounding the building of the new website the Department was mistakenly put in a box and stacked in a cupboard with Werd the Robot and some cleaning equipment. We eventually persuaded Werd to help us escape, but it wasn't easy. That is one very grumpy robot.

Word o' the Month: swimming

Swimming first evolved as a way to avoid drowning. It then developed as a method to avoid being eaten. An early stone age painting in a cave in Laux, France, shows a dramatic sequence of events in which human-like stick figures run from a large toothed beast. The paintings then show the figures in water with fish jumping all around them and the beast standing on the edge of the water, foiled. (Later illustrations show the stick figures being devoured by the fish – a sadly common occurrence until the invention of swimming pools.)

Early swimming styles most commonly resembled a sideways sort of dog-paddle, but one stinking hot day in 10 AD an Egyptian farmer named Asswim was resting on the banks of a large reed-edged irrigation pond when he noticed the action of a frog paddling by. Asswim was hot and sweaty after a morning chasing his frisky goats, and so he took off his clothes and followed the frog into the water, imitating its pulling arms and kicking legs. And there, amongst the reeds, asswimming was invented. 

Asswimming, or breaststroke as we now know it, was the main style of swimming until the end of the 19^th century. (You could say all swimming was asswimming.) In 1835 The first man to asswim the English channel, Captain Matthew Webb, asswam it very slowly, taking over 21 hours. He later died rather foolishly attempting to asswim across the whirlpool at the bottom of Niagara Falls.

But before then, in 1790, Englishman Reginald Freestyle had been on an expedition exploring the upper reaches of the Amazon River. There he was astounded to see the native Americans make their way across the wide river in a style he described as “windmill-like, rather undignified, and causing a lot of splashing.” When he demonstrated the 'infinitely more elegant” asswim, or breaststroke, the Natives all fell about on the banks of the river laughing and shouting at him in their guttural language. “Too slow!” they yelled, “too slow!” Reginald soon realised what they meant as scores of small but feisty piranhas took bite-sized chunks of flesh from his frog-like legs. Thus the American Crawl, or Freestyle, was born. (It was not accepted quickly by folk in Europe or Britain, who considered it 'uncivilised' because a.) it had been invented by heathens, and b.) there are no piranhas in Europe.

Other styles of what we now call swimming – butterfly and backstroke, evolved even later.  Butterfly was so called because of the amounts of insects collected by the wide flailing arms of the swimmer, and was developed by show-offs who thought the other styles were too easy to master. Backstroke (the title is self-explanatory) was invented by astronomer and cloud-watcher Beverly Clear, who liked to swim at night. 

Have a fantastic asswimming summer! If there are flags, asswim between them! And wear Thunderwear swimwear – safe and good looking too!

A Brief History of the Swim Costume

Bathing is a sport
Enjoyed by great and small
In suits of any sort
Though better none at all.
[Anonymous,19th-century poem]

It’s that time of year again - searching for our togs in the nether regions of the sock and undies drawers. Exclaiming in dismay when we stand in front of the mirror squeezed into last year’s suit or bikini. It’s tough to venture into public at the beginning of summer before we’ve been sun-kissed. Swim suits, bathing suits or togs haven’t always been so revealing the last two hundred years have brought many a change to the dreaded swim suit.

Bathing in the ocean became a popular and fashionable activity in the 18th century when the introduction of railroads made travel much easier and faster. People flocked to the beaches in summer, seeking sun and rejuvenation. Until the 1800’s most swimming was done in the nude or in one’s under clothes until laws were passed dictating appropriate swimwear. The swimsuits invented during this period hid the body, making swimming (especially for women) restrictive and difficult.

The first swim suits do not in any shape or form resemble what we wear today.  A Victorian women’s swim costume consisted of a bonnet, gloves, a long gown with long sleeves, and long trousers. In the early 19th century women changed in the privacy of their own ‘Swim Machine’ a type of covered carriage house that was drawn out to sea by horse , where a Victorian woman could change out of one petticoat costume into another swimming costume.

As time ticked on the swim costume became more revealing but only just, with heavy flannel or woollen suits that included stockings. The early 1900’s finally saw the swim suit literally take shape. More skin was revealed, the suit sat against the body and women were able to swim and participate in water sports more freely.

In the 1940’s the bikini took the world by storm. A Frenchman by the name of Réard invented the "bikini" naming it after Bikini Atoll, one of a series of islands in the South Pacific where testing of the atomic bomb took place. Historians believe that Réard called it the bikini as he thought it would be as explosive and controversial as the Atom bomb.

However, the bikini is not a recent invention of the 1940s; cloth covering the breasts and hip region dates back to 1600 BC. In Sicily there are mosaics showing women exercising from the 4th century AD in bikini type garb with exposed torsos.  Fashion shows us more than fabric; it reveals our thoughts on culture and society. It demonstrates the swinging pendulum of civilization and how our collective thoughts do change, even if it takes 1,500 years.

Blossoms - there is nothing better than this time of year. The smell and the colour alone makes the heart soar with promises of Summer.  They signal the end of darkness and the start of sun, where chopping wood and wearing woolens are replaced with vegetable gardens, tender green grass, buzzing bees and long warm nights.

Blossoms however have a twofold purpose aside from welcoming in Spring they can be a delectable treat both savoury and sweet. My favourites are zucchini (courgette) blossoms stuffed with cheese and herbs and then deep fried, even without the stuffing they are a revelation….. They can also be served sweet deep fried in a sugary batter and served with vanilla icecream, deelish!

Ingredients •    Vegetable oil (for frying) •    1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour •    1 teaspoon kosher salt •    12 ounce chilled Pilsner, lagerstyle beer, or club soda •    Zucchini blossoms (stamens removed; about 2 dozen) •    Sea salt Preparation In a large pot, heat about 2" oil over medium heat until a deep-fry thermometer reads 350°. Combine flour and salt in a medium bowl, then whisk in beer until almost smooth (some small lumps are welcome—don't overwhisk or you'll deflate the batter). One by one, dredge the blossoms in batter, shaking off the excess; gently lay them in the oil, without crowding the pan. Cook, flipping once with a slotted spoon, until golden brown, 2–3 minutes total. Transfer to paper towels to drain. Sprinkle with sea salt and devour while hot. Variation #1: For an even lighter, crispier crust, fold 3 stiffly beaten egg whites into batter and proceed as above. Variataion #2: Stuffed blossoms are a favorite in Italy. To fill about 16, combine 1 cup ricotta, 1 tablespoon freshly chopped mint, and 1/2 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest in a bowl. Season with kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper. Using a spoon, fill each blossom with about 1 tablespoon ricotta mixture, then dip in batter and fry as above.

As you can see we’ve been hard at work bringing you a new website, we think you’ll find it way easier to use and isn’t she a looker? Whenever one takes on a new project there are always hurdles to overcome. Thunderpants has definitely had its share of misfortunate events along the way; shark attacks, mistaken identity, and fabric delays. However, this has not got us down. As always, we’ve pulled ourselves up by our Thundies and carried on.

	Set Back 1: Shark attack; while on location to test swimwear, professional Scuba Diver Josephina Bidwilliams was attacked by a small great white. Luckily she was not harmed but the shark got away with her togs. Unfortunately they were the only Thunderwear togs on the planet. We are now in the middle of drafting new ones. DO NOT DESPAIR, Swimwear shall makes it way to the new website by Summer swimming season.
Set Back 2: Mistaken identity; the men’s fitted boxer has been a highly confidential and top secret project. We noticed sometime last year that our phone calls and workroom were bugged. Since the bugging discovery we’ve had to create a secret code language. On the whole our code has worked with only minor slip-ups. However, when it came to the labels and embossed elastic of the fitted boxer our wires somehow crossed. We ended up with over 200 pairs of fitted boxers that said Blunderpants instead of Thunderpants. We are in the midst of correcting this ‘blunder’; please hang tight, the fitted boxer is due for release sometime in October.
	Set Back 3: Fabric delays - A case of piracy. In shipment from Auckland to Levin, a band of Rugby hooligans high-jacked the all black Thunderpants fabric. The truck driver reported that the hooligans shouted ‘once you go black you never go back’. This crime is being further investigated. Unfortunately, there is no hope of getting the fabric back. This will only delay the availability of the now ‘n’ again kid’s pants and tanks by one to two weeks.